Somedays I just feel blah.
Do you ever get that feeling, you just don't feel great but you don't really know why and you can't get into the day, you can't seem to just shake it off. There is nothing in particular wrong but you just feel.....well.......BLAH....that is the best way I can describe the feeling. You may have a different word but for now mine is Blah!
Today is one of those days. Nothing is wrong but not much feels right. I feel off centre, disinterested, unexcited, uninspired, a little sad maybe. I don't really feel like I am all of me today. I had the thought earlier "Maybe I should just go back to bed and find the bit of me I left there this morning." It sort of feels like that, like I went to bed whole and woke up with a little bit of me not in place, left behind.
Anyway enough of the description, I trust you are getting my meaning. You might use a different word but I think you know what I mean because I am really confident that I am not the only person who feels this way at times.
What do you do when you feel like this?
I have tried many things.
Beating myself up and telling myself I have no reason to feel that way.
Trying to snap out of it.
Exploring it deeply and finding (or creating) the hidden meaning and message behind it, presuming there is always some greater energetic reason or universal purpose behind my feelings.
Here is what I have found though.
Sometimes there is no reason or at least no reason that is worth your focus and the energy it takes to find.
Sometimes it is just the flow of life, the ups and downs, the ebbs and flows.
Sometimes it is just part of being a human, of living and having this physical experience.
Sometimes it is just the 'pressure' or responsibilities of life that say you have to get up and do things when really all you want to do is curl up in bed wiht a book and a cup of tea (or a glass of wine ;) ).
Sometimes searching for a reason and seeking to give everything meaning turns it into a problem rather than it just being a fairly quickly passing phase, a part of the forever changing emotions we experience during this earthly experience.
Don't get me wrong. Emotions can be telling, shining a light on deeper beliefs and issues, fabulous messengers, guides to help direct us, gifts to uncover and learn from. But sometimes they are just emotions, reactions to a situation, a result of the moon or hormones or just the twists and turns of life, the carousel of emotions we experience.
Sometimes you just feel ....BLAH!
On days like that I allow it. I don't define myself by it, but I do allow myself to feel it, I am usually quieter, more introspective, I sometimes choose to mindlessly watch TV or another similarly simple activity. Sometimes I walk, sometimes I write, sometimes I just sit.
What I do do is honour the feeling and allow it to be and in allowing it to be without over analysing it or giving it meaning I also allow the feeling, the emotion, to flow through me and I naturally move out of the feeling, out of that state.
I don't define myself by the feeling. I am not sad, or depressed or any such state. I am just feeling blah today. It is no more powerful or important or impactful than that.
If I wake up tomorrow feeling the same way, if one day turns to two or more then I would explore the feelings, look for the triggers and the lessons ...... but one day, well I am not going to over dramatise and over analyse that. I am not going to allow my focus and attention to give it power or importance that it actually doesn't have. I am not going to assign it meaning that it just doesn't have. All I am doing by feeling this way one day every now and then is being human and guess what??......
I am human, I am having a human experience. The changing of emotions, the ebb and flow, the ups and downs is what my soul signed up for!!
So for today I am feeling BLAH and while it isn't my ideal or my choice it is in fact perfect. Perfectly human!!