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Do you feel valued, seen, heard, loved?

Be you, the real you or feel invisible!

Do you say what you think people want you to say?
Or what you think will impress or interest people?

Think about it.

Most of us are actually taught to do this. We grow up trying to please people, trying to be noticed, trying to impress, trying to be seen as intelligent or interesting or important. We do this with our parents

Our teachers

Our bosses

Even our friends

Sometimes, weirdly, even strangers.

We learn that if we desire a particular response we best say a certain thing or have a certain opinion or similarly not say other things regardless of what we believe or think.

We act and ‘be’ a certain way in the attempt to get a need met and we may not even be consciously aware of the need.

This behaviour, over time, over rides our inner, core desire to be true to ourselves, to be authentic and we start trying to predict what we should say to certain people to elicit desired response or reaction from them.

We seek this outcome or response thanks to an underlying desire to ‘feel’ something, to feel worthy, valued, liked, loved, seen, …. the list could go on.

This is where it gets interesting. What if our core desire is to be valued or admired for example and it hasn’t been being met. In order to elicit the desired response we think we have to try and guess what that other person wants us to say, what they will agree with, laugh at, find interesting or impressive or admirable.

We try to guess what the other person thinks, desires or likes and then we formulate what we will say or how we will act in order to have the best chance of getting that response. This is all interpreted through our own focus and perception.

This approach rarely works.

I know!! I’ve tried. Unknowingly I have done it for years and years.

The thing is even if we manage to say something that other person finds impressive it won’t actually give us the feeling we seek!

Why?

Because our true self, our authentic self has been pushed aside and judged by our very self not to be good enough.

It is this true, authentic self that is desiring to be heard or seen or acknowledged.

If we aren’t seen or heard for who we really are then we aren’t seen or heard at all, regardless of how much attention we receive.

We have all witnessed or experienced this. The person who is constantly in the spot light, applauded, admired even but it is never enough and they feel unseen, unvalued, unimportant, they continue to seek attention as they just can’t see it or feel it.

To have any chance of filling that desire, the need to be seen, heard, acknowledged or even admired, looks up to we must act authentically, we must behave authentically, we must BE authentic.

We can’t pretend.

We can’t fake it.

Authenticity can’t be manipulated or tricked.
You get seen, heard and acknowledged for who you are or you remain in the shadows, feeling ignored, unworthy, undervalued.
No amount of attention, accolades or focus will be enough if you aren’t showing up as the real you.
It is time to let other see you, to show up as you, to own all of you.
It is time to be authentically you.

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