I was surprised that as I journaled yesterday the idea of 'I am enough' came up.
I am sure you have heard it. There is a lot of supporters of the 'I am enough' movement. I've heard the stories, I know changing this belief and embracing the idea that I am enough has changed the lives of many people.
I'll be honest though, I don't really get it. Maybe it will dawn on me one day and I will understand its power or maybe it wont but for now I just don't get it.
Making the general statement "I am enough" actually fills me with doubt.
Enough for what??
Enough to be a world class singer?
Actually no I am not and in all honesty I never will be.
Am I enough to be a doctor?
Mmmmm no I'm not, I don't have the desire or the drive or the intelligence for that. I just don't.
And I don't want to just be enough, I want to be far more than enough. I don't want to fill the cup, to have just enough, to be just enough, I want that cup to overflow!!!! I am far more than enough!!!
I know this isn't how everyone perceives the "I am enough" statement but perception is everything, perception creates our reality and this is my perception.
I don't doubt value it holds for many people, it just doesn't seem to hold the same value for me and that is fine. If something so simple works for you, great, use it. I love simple and I love positive personal change but if like me you have heard it, you have tried it and you just don't 'get it' I hear you.
So back to my journaling yesterday.
I journaled on the question "What would I do if I wasn't confused, afraid, uncertain or worried?"
I wasn't consciously aware in that moment of being any of these things but the question came to me so I explored it.
When I journal my only focus is on allowing the words to come not thinking them. Thanks to this my journalling often doesn't make word for word sense. I do however get the meaning, I feel it, I know it.
As I focused on the question and began to write I was surprised as "I am enough" came up and today I have been guided to share with you what came through. I will do my best to not allow my 'thinking' brain to edit what came through this may mean the words don't all make sense but I trust that if you are reading this you will get from it what you need.
When I journal I often write from "we'. This does not imply the words are relevant to anyone other than me though. The 'we' referred to in my writing is me, it is my higher self writing to 'us', the whole me.
This picks up half way through the journaling session but it is where 'I am enough' came in..............
I would seek to learn due to fascination, interest and enjoyment. Not to prove anything or fill a leaky 'I am good enough' cup.
Being good enough, feeling good enough isn't a vessel to fill it is a way to live, a deep inner knowing we nurture and tend to and protect with all our might, identifying threats, people, situations, thoughts or experiences that shake our knowing and lovingly turning our focus from them to the intense light of knowing we are more than enough.
We are not however enough, and never will be enough, to be anything but ourselves.
When we feel the tug of inadequacy, when we shy away and feel smaller than others, not as good, not as capable, not enough, this is not always a tragedy. It is so often a gift. A gift showing us we aren't being true, true to ourselves, true to our path, true to who we are and who we were born to be and my darling self we will exit this world, this experience being or not being ourself. The choice is left with us daily, to be ourself and experience this incarnation fully or not.
Feeling enough will not occur thanks to affirmations, or positive thought or self love alone. It will happen, almost miraculously, when we are honest about who we are, to ourself and to others, in both our being and our doing. In our reactions and our actions. In our dreams and our desires.
Being enough, feeling enough is a state of being that is reliant, in fact completely dependant on us being US! To attempt to be anything else, for whatever reason, will leave us short. It will leave us feeling never good enough regardless of how hard we try, how nice we are, how much work we do, how many courses we complete or how committed we are.
Being enough, acting enough, knowing enough wont help us feel enough, really feeling enough and more than enough requires our courage and commitment. The courage and commitment and determination to uncover or rediscover who we truly are. To connect with the core, the essence, the truth of US.
This is the only way to genuine 'enoughness'.
We are not enough to be anyone but us, completely and wholly us. The unique, perfect, flawed, amazing us. The more we are her the more enough we will be.
From this place, from this energy, doubt and fear loses power and we can step forward in the way we were always meant to.
There was never another, and never will be another born so perfectly equipped to be us.
So stop pretending, stop comparing, stop hiding, stop guessing, stop trying to be enough.
Go within find and reconnect with the true essence of us and move forward.
Journey within the woman we know exists, and during this journey we will learn to embrace the already existing fact that we are enough...so much more than enough.