What do you do if you are happy for someone but if you are honest a little bit jealous as well.
DO you beat yourself up about it?
Do you wish them badly? Even secretly?
Do you resent them?
Do you avoid them or judge their achievement?
Here is the thing. You are probably judging yourself for your reaction. You feel it makes you seem like a bad person when in fact jealousy is just a normal emotion or reaction that many people feel.
Let’s look at what the jealousy might be showing you if you are prepared to acknowledge it and work through it. Ignoring it or allowing it to engulf you will not allow you to benefit from it.
Yes, you can benefit from your own jealousy.
I believe jealousy is a sign from the universe about what you truly desire. You can explore the situation and get clearer on what you desire.
Let’s face it, you don’t get jealous over something you don’t want, so look deeper at the situation. What are you really jealous of? Get specific. It will really help you clarify your own goals.
This can be very powerful as many people I work with really struggle with determining what they truly desire, with owning their dreams!! Jealousy can help you identify and finally own what you truly desire!! Use it to help you.
I also believe that the universe puts people on our path or in our awareness who have things we desire to show us what is possible. When I feel jealous I now thank the universe. “Thank you for showing me what is possible. If they can achieve this so can I!!” This really helps shift firstly my judgment around jealousy and then to move on from the actual feeling of jealousy. I can feel the jealousy subsiding and the feeling of appreciation growing as I do this.
What is jealousy?
Jealousy is a feeling or emotion which is the result of feelings of fear, insecurity, concern or envy triggered by the lack of something that you value occurring after you compare yourself to another.
There are a few things in this explanation worth exploring. If you are prepared to explore this and learn from it you wont have to sit in jealousy and really importantly you wont judge yourself for it.
Jealousy is a feeling but not the core feeling or emotion. It is triggered by another emotion. What is the core or foundation emotion under your jealousy? When you identify that you can work through the real issue.
You can’t feel jealous without comparing yourself to others. And while comparing can be helpful for motivation or to see where you are at in relation to others or even in relations to where you used to be and maybe even to learn about what is possible, generally comparing yourself to someone else is not helpful, in fact it is often self-destructive. Comparing is a competition you will never win. There will always be someone better than you, taller than you, smarter than you, richer than you etc etc. Feelings of jealousy can bring your attention to your habit of comparing. Once aware of that you can work on it and free yourself from it.
The big thing that stands out for me though in the explanation is the word LACK.
Jealousy can draw your attention to your own feelings or beliefs of lack. A lack mindset, the inner belief that something is limited or unavailable to you, is one of the biggest blocks to you achieving your goals. Becoming aware of this within yourself is a gift and one the feeling of jealousy can draw your attention to so you can clear it.
So jealousy can serve you IF you are prepared to look at it differently. Look at it with interest and with a desire to explore what it is showing you. Don’t judge yourself for it, acknowledge it and get interested in it!
Jealousy, feelings of jealousy towards another can be a gift for you, a turning point. You are human, you will feel jealous at times. How can you benefit from and learn from these feelings?